37 Kelly Jones

Meet the maestro of mayhem and the czar of chaos, Kelly “Commissioner Chutzpah,” the driving force behind the WNHL, the self-proclaimed “best beer league in the world.” From its humble beginnings of 20 friends playing shinny, Kelly has nurtured this league into an 8-team spectacle that’s been dubbed the “champagne of beer leagues.”

Off the ice, Kelly’s a man of mystery, the puppet master pulling the strings from behind the scenes. He’s got more connections than a tangled headset wire and the charisma of a used car salesman at a speed dating event.

But let’s not kid ourselves—when he laces up those skates, Kelly is a pure, unadulterated dick on the ice. Refs shudder in their stripes when they see him coming, as he unleashes a torrent of colorful words that even sailors would blush at. And does he back up his ceaseless trash talk with actual skills? Well, let’s just say the jury’s still out on that one. It’s like watching a Shakespearean tragedy unfold on ice, complete with dramatic falls and spectacularly missed shots.

Rumor has it that Kelly’s slapshots have their own postal codes, and his stickhandling has been likened to a drunk octopus attempting ballet. And who could forget the time he tried a triple axel during a game and ended up doing the worm instead? Classic Kelly.

So, here’s to the man who wears his title of Commissioner with all the finesse of a bull in a china shop. Kelly “Commissioner Chutzpah,” you keep us entertained on and off the ice, and for that, we raise an OV to you. May your antics be as legendary as your league. Cheers!